Sunday, December 29, 2013

Goodbye 2013

There's a lot to be said about 2013. I would like to recap. 

For one, I can't mention 2013 without mentioning 2011. I know that I'm skipping a year, but you'll understand why in a second.


At the start of 2011, I  set my goals to work in films. I had no idea if that would happen, I just decided that it was time. I seem to have the gift of knowing when the "right" time is for me in most cases. It usually begins with an inkling. I begin to imagine it as something I am capable of doing and then I "check in" to see if I'm ready. You would think that I would just spurt out a big fat "YES I AM READY!" but I'm no dummy and I rarely fool myself. If I'm not ready, I'm just not ready.

Before 2011, I didn't feel ready to do films. Even while I was working as an actress on TV, I still didn't feel ready. It was the weirdest thing, I would get a film audition and I would be pissed off and find a way to avoid going. I'd throw a fit, I would cry, I would call my agent and say I was "sick".  I was very frustrated with myself then. I really wanted to psych myself out, but I knew I had some inside work to do before I felt sure with myself that I could handle it. Long story short, life did its thing and I had to learn some personal lessons. I gained gravitas and experience with the curve balls the universe was throwing at me and I got a divorce from my ex-husband which really catapulted me into the realm of "shit to work with". My transition from girl to woman was in full effect and by 2011, I felt "READY!"

Around October 2011, a turning point happen. Something that had NEVER happened to me before, I met with a legendary film director, Robert Zemekis. One day later, I met with a legendary actor, Denzel Washington. Three days later, I was offered an important part in a great film called "Flight" working with both Robert and Denzel. Did that change my life? I have to say yes. Yes it did.

Two weeks after, I auditioned for a film opposite Dwanye Johnson (aka THE ROCK) and I also was offered the part for that film, "Snitch". I knew this was a sign from the man upstairs named GOD that I was at least being heard and that maybe…just maybe…I was supposed to be an actress after all.

yep. he's hot.

This feeling of being "ready", I discovered, came from the decision to share more of my human experience with the world and to channel it into acting. By the time 2012 rolled in (as slowly as it did), I knew there had to be a pay off somewhere for me…..I just didn't know when or where. I waited semi-patiently. Keeping myself busy with life and learning my lessons as best as I could as a semi-happy learner. I made necessary adjustments in my life and heart, all the while preparing myself for when hard work meets opportunity. I worked on my acting and my attitude and by the time 2013 rolled in, I had prepared myself mentally to go in deeper than I ever had and to show up strong and confident but most of all, humble and honest.

I embraced myself and my flaws as best as I could. I embraced my vulnerability, my age, my brokenness, my craziness, my fears and my longings. I embraced them all and couldn't wait to share them just because my heart was oozing to share and connect. I set my goals on growing more into a WOMAN. By the end of January 2013,  I had a new assignment, MAJOR CRIMES. It is the best role I've had on TV. It's has been an opportunity to go deeper and tap into my stillness, my discipline, my hard ass-ness and I can't even tell you how thankful I am for that. The experience with the cast and the talented directors who give me their expertise on the show has been remarkable. Every episode, I feel like I grow a little more into myself and as the character I portray. It has made me grow up.

amazing cast and friends.

love how determined and serious Emma is.

I get yelled at a lot. 

Additionally in 2013, I got to show a crazy side of myself as a recurring character on BET's Real 
Husbands of Hollywood. It has been the most free I've ever been playing comedy. I went into that with no inhibitions and really intent on exploring a side of myself I have never shown publicly--the crazy Puerto Rican. haha! 

My friends who know me well know that I'm capable of being just like the NADINE I got to play on Real Husbands. Just as my sister said to me when she first saw my role on Major Crimes, "that's YOU!".  I can honestly say that I am finally tapping into deeper parts of myself and sharing it in my work.

 In 2013, I also bought my first home. I am proud of that for reasons I won't get into now, but it's a milestone that marks my victory as an independent woman. Ever since I was a little girl, that's all I ever wanted to be: an independent woman. :) it's a great feeling. 

I know this photo has nothing to do with buying a house but I look strong in it so, boom.

Other achievements in 2013: my boyfriend and I are now living together. It's a big deal for us. I'm proud of us both for this next step.
aww. our family :)

Also in 2013,  I feel less like a recluse in life and I've been more social and open, which is a big step in the right direction because I am painfully shy and awkward when meeting new people. It takes a lot of work for me to stay open socially when gathered with more than two people and most of the time I'm exhausted with the effort but, I've been doing pretty good. Not great, just pretty good.  Also this year, I've successfully expanded my work in film. I worked on 3 of them! They are all independent films but the roles have been stronger than ever in my history of films (which isn't very extensive). I worked with the awesome and funny director of "Barbershop" Mr. Mark Brown in a film called "Sharon123" and  I worked with actor Scott Reid in a film called, "Sister" and I did my first heavy dramatic role in a film called, "Clarity". I can't wait for the release so that you can all see. I also learned how to gift wrap properly, keeping the corners crisp and all. No more wrapping gifts with corners that look like a cat tore into them. Also, when my dog Kiki got sick this year for about 3 consecutive weeks, I kept her hydrated by filling a syringe with water and forcing it down her throat when she refused to get up and hydrate herself. I kept her out of the hospital that way and I felt like an Earth momma who trusted her instincts to keep her baby alive! She's happy and healthy now. My little Kiki.

These are my 2013 highlights. I will kick-start 2014 with a guest starring role in Sophia Vergara's new TV show called "Killer Women"which airs January 7th on ABC

 and I will be going back to work on Real Husbands of Hollywood in January as well as Major Crimes in March. So far, my 2014 is starting off alright. Would love to hear about your milestones. :)